15 May

I am four days away from walking across that big ol’ stage and receiving my college diploma. It’s surreal to me that this time is here already. High school seemed to drag on forever, but college has been the fastest four years of my life. I feel as if in my time away at college, I have grown so much as a person. When I first arrived I was shy, scared, and naïve. I hadn’t experienced much of anything except for what was right outside my front door. I have met more people and learned so much it will be hard for me to leave this place, which has become my home.

In honor of this momentous occasion and in accordance with my macho movie theme, I decided to watch Back to School with W. Staring the classic Rodney Dangerfield, I hoped this movie would give me a few laughs to overcome the melancholy feeling that has enveloped me due to my looming graduation. This was just the comical anecdote I needed!

Thornton Melon (Rodney Dangerfield) is a successful business man who owns a chain of “Tall & Fat” stores. He is a self-made man who has earned his wealth and fortune, though he never attended college. When he finds his fourth or fifth (I can’t remember how many wives he went through) wife is cheating on him, he divorces her and feels compelled to reconnect with his son. His son, who is away at college, has spun a web of lies in convincing his father that he is on the diving team, in a fraternity, and basically a big man on campus.Thornton shows up and finds out these tales are false, so in order to convince his son that college can be a rewarding experience, he enrolls himself.

The events that follow provided me with a few words of wisdom to share with all of you as you graduate and make your way out into the real world (compliments of Thornton Melon and

  • [after snorkeling in a hot tub with four bikini-clad co-eds]
    “Now that’s what I call Marine Biology!”
  • “Bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out. And then bring one every ten minutes.”
  • “Please, try to understand. I don’t have the background for this. I mean, the high school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity, he threw the teacher out the window!”
  • “What lovely girls. How would you like a life of luxury and deceit?”
  • “I think I’m attracted to teachers. Yeah, I took out an English teacher. That didn’t work out at all. I sent her a love letter… She corrected it!”
  •  “Yeah, if that dress had pockets, you’d look like a pool table. You should try my Tall & Fat stores. No offense.”
  • [after answering 27 parts from one question of the final exam]

“No more! I feel like I just gave birth…”

So while I am heading out into “the real world”, and I may not have a plan (or a job) yet, I’m going to look on the bright side and realize all the opportunities that are now open to me. I know it doesn’t do me any good to be frightened of the unknown, so instead I will keep my head up, smile, and look forward to the future. Laughter is the best medicine so watch Back to School and be thankful for what you have!

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Posted by on May 15, 2011 in Uncategorized


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